


Stronger Than You

by katrinawritesthings



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, M/M, OT5, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-10-20 19:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katrinawritesthings/pseuds/katrinawritesthings
Summary: Anonymous asked: Can you write another ot5 fic please? Something with them all being poly together? Maybe having communication problems but working them out healthily?Taemin understands the general idea of what started the fight, but he wants to know specifics, and how deep they got into it before he interrupted them. Jonghyun’s big eyes and the way he’s gripping wrinkles into a new pillow radiate guilt and Taemin feels like maybe he was the one that started it.tumblr





	Stronger Than You

****The first thing that Taemin hears when he shuffles up the front steps is shouting. From all four of them. Kibum high and indignant, Jonghyun sure but slightly hysteric, Minho loud and powerful, Jinki clear and commanding. He pauses just outside of the door without reaching for his keys. He’s not sure if he really wants to go in there and find out what’s wrong. Leaning up closer to rest his ear against the wood, he frowns at the ground and concentrates.

“Why are you even bringing up his brother?” Minho is asking. “He hasn’t spoken to him in like, a month.”

“Yeah, and that’s bothering him just as much as talking to Taesun bothers him in the first place,” Jinki snaps back. “He feels guilty about it.”

“He feels guilty about _everything_ ,” Jonghyun says. His voice sounds like it’s constantly stuck between cracking like it does when he’s trying not to angry cry. “That’s my _point._ It’s not anything new.”

“So what, now you want to ignore it?” Minho asks, incredulous.

_“Don’t-_ -” There’s a pause, where Taemin assumes Jonghyun takes a deep breath. “Don’t put words in my mouth like that, Minho.”

“What, like you’re doing for him?”

“He--fucking-- _told me_ \--that he’s been feeling _worse_ , Kibum,” Jonghyun says, voice strained.

“Well, he told _me_ that he’s feeling better than he has all week,” Kibum counters. He’s getting louder and louder the more he speaks. “He went to his dance class tonight all by himself and everything.”

“His mood changes all the fucking time,” Minho growls, sounding more frustrated than Taemin’s ever heard him be. “What the fuck do his classes and his brother even mean in all of this?”

_“Everything?_ ” Kibum and Jinki say simultaneously.

Taemin doesn’t hear the rest of their argument because he’s pulled away from the door with a sigh. He figured out they were talking about him a while ago, and now he understands why. Fuck. This is all his fault. He pulls his key from his pocket and slips it into the lock as quietly as possible, bracing himself for what he’s about to put himself into.

Three of them are standing in the living room when Taemin eases himself inside; Jonghyun is sitting on the couch, gripping wrinkles into a pillow as he glares up at the others with red rimmed eyes. It’s him that notices Taemin first, facing the front door where he is, and it’s his sudden expression change that makes the others stop arguing and look around.

“Um,” he says, smiling weakly through the guilt Jonghyun mentioned earlier and lifting his hand in a wave. “Hi.” There’s a pause as all four of them look at him and he looks back at them. Then they all start forward at once, confused questions, concerned comments, outstretched hands lowkey competing to get in front. The sudden rush of voices and noise and bodies makes Taemin panic a little bit and he takes a step back, lifting his other hand up as well. “No wait, not--” he starts quickly. He swallows when they all stop and runs his fingers through his hair. “Not… all at once,” he mumbles.

They break apart slowly, throwing as many shifty glances at each other as they give to him. He kind of just shuffles through them, letting Jinki take his hand but wiggling his fingers free after just a moment. Something tells him that he shouldn’t give any one of them extra attention right now. Once he gets passed them and into the living room he realizes that he didn’t really have a plan of action. He turns, takes Jonghyun’s pillow gently, turns back, and lies down on the floor. That’s a good plan, right? The other four arrange themselves around him: Minho kneeling by his head, Jonghyun returning to the couch, Jinki sitting with his back against the bookshelf on the other side of the room, and Kibum leaning against it.

Taemin turns to his back on the floor and blinks at all of them slowly. He understands the general idea of what started the fight, but he wants to know specifics, and how deep they got into it before he interrupted them. Jonghyun’s big eyes and the way he’s gripping wrinkles into a new pillow radiate guilt and Taemin feels like maybe he was the one that started it, most likely on accident. He lifts his hand and flops it back to the carpet, pointing weakly at the couch.

“Jonghyun first,” he says quietly. Jonghyun squeezes his pillow tighter before he speaks.

“I told them that you were feeling more down on yourself than usual,” he says. His voice is a little hoarse. “Because you told me, last night, that you weren’t feeling good about yourself. And I wanted to maybe plan a little surprise present for you or something. But then….” He looks from him to Kibum, who sighs against the wood of the bookshelf.

“But you told me _this morning_ that you were feeling great and up to doing stuff on your own and shit,” he says. “I didn’t want to, I don’t know, make you feel helpless again.”

“And I was saying that yeah, maybe a party or something would be good, because you’ve been extra down about Taesun lately,” Jinki adds.

“And _I_ was trying to tell them that either way a surprise wouldn’t be good.” Minho hovers a hand over Taemin like he wants to fix his hair, then brings it back. Taemin flicks his bangs lazily out of his eyes so Minho can go on. “You’re always feeling up and down. I figured you just felt better this morning than you did last night and it wasn’t as big of a deal as Jonghyun was making it out to be.” When Minho finishes, Jonghyun grumbles something under his breath that no one really has the energy to reply to anymore. Taemin glances at him, and then at Minho, and then at Kibum and Jinki. They’re all so confused.

He laughs. He brings his hands up to his face and laughs, not loudly, but enough to make the others frown and demand to know why. He’s not entirely sure himself. The situation isn’t exactly funny; it’s actually a whole mess of mixed signals and emotions that he really should have seen coming beforehand. He thinks it’s just the irony of it all, and he pulls the corners of his lips down to sober himself when he takes his hands away.

“You’re all right,” he says. He closes his eyes against the bright light of the lamps as his other four babes voice their confusion. “I said all of those things and they’re all true,” he mumbles, “I just….” He sighs, reaching up towards Jonghyun for another pillow. Jonghyun hands him a spare and he hugs it to his chest, picking at the loose thread by the zipper. “I talk to each of you, about different things,” he admits.

“I talk to… Jinki,” he continues, flopping a lazy hand in his direction, “about family shit.” Of course Jinki would bring up his brother. He’s the only one out of the five that isn’t particularly close to anyone in his family so Taemin trusts him to be the least biased about it all. “And I talk to Kibum about motivation and social anxiety stuff.” He gestures at Kibum against the bookshelf. Who else would he talk to about going out than the one that goes out the most?

“Jonghyun….” Sweet, sweet, gentle, uplifting, always-full-of-praise-and-logic Jonghyun. “Helps me with my self-esteem. And Minho,” he rests his hand just next to Minho’s knee on the carpet. “I just… my daily shit. Little things. Overall mood.” Minho is the best listener for quick little tidbits. He somehow always has time to spare a few minutes. Taemin throws his free arm over his eyes rather than open them and look at everyone else. “I did tell Jonghyun that I felt worse last night,” he says, “and I did tell Kibum that I felt better this morning. But I was talking about completely different things.”

“Why….” Kibum speaks after a moment from the other side of the room. “Why don’t you talk to all of us about everything?” Taemin grimaces behind his arm. It looks like he doesn’t trust them all completely. Ugh.

“I don’t,” he sighs. “You’re all… different. I know _you_ would give me different family advice than Jinki, and I know that it would just make me feel worse. So I don’t talk about it with you. But I still _trust_ you,” he adds, peeking up at his boyfriend against the shelf. “You’re just… not the right person to talk to. About that specific thing.” He shrugs helplessly. It’s silent again for another moment, and then Jinki speaks this time.

“Why didn’t you tell us you talked to each of us about different things?” he asks gently. Taemin sighs again.

“I don’t know,” he breathes. “I really don’t.” He always felt like it would make the others feel left out, or that to explain _why_ he didn’t want to talk about certain subjects with certain boyfriends he would have to talk about them anyway. It was too complicated to think about and he didn’t want to deal with it. He never expected they would all get into a fight over it. Guilt turns his stomach over and he lifts his pillow to cover his face. It’s quiet for a long time after that, at least a few minutes. Silent except for soft rustlings coming from all over the room, which Taemin assumes are from the others trying to communicate without speaking. Eventually, the couch squeaks and Taemin hears someone else sit by his head.

“Um,” Jonghyun says, and when Taemin moves his pillow down, Jonghyun is peering at him with those gentle eyes of his. The other three are looking at Jonghyun too, and a slight frown from Jinki makes Taemin feel like maybe Jonghyun volunteered himself for this. Taemin isn’t complaining. He feels like shit about himself and that _is_ Jonghyun’s category. “Do you, maybe, want to go get ice cream, with me?” he asks. Taemin feels the corners of his lips quirking into a tiny smile. Ice cream. Jonghyun’s preferred cheer-up food for whenever Taemin gets like this. He nods a tiny little nod.

“Yeah,” he says. “I’d like that.” Jonghyun smiles, reaching forward to fix Taemin’s hair where the pillow mussed it up. Minho takes a breath like he’s going to say something; when Taemin looks at him, he hesitates for just a second.

“Do you… want to talk, to Jonghyun, by yourself…?” he asks. “Or, do you not really feel like talking right now?” That is… a good question. Taemin looks at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. To be honest--

“I don’t really want to talk about… this. Or me. Right now,” he says, blinking up at Jonghyun guiltily. He just wants comfort food and a cute boyfriend to sit with.

“Can we come with you then?” Kibum asks. Jonghyun lifts his head to look at Kibum before Taemin does and Taemin grins. Possessive little nerd. But really, if he thinks about it, Kibum has a point. There’s no reason to _not_ let the others come along. Well, other than… he looks up at Jonghyun, having a quick, silent conversation of a pout on Jonghyun’s part and a nod on Taemin’s. He turns back to the other three.

“Sure,” he says, “but, can we get like… real food instead?” The ice cream thing is something personal between him and Jonghyun, especially when they’re going on a cheer-up trip. Just for the two of them, like midnight movies are Kibum and Minho’s and getting manicures are Jonghyun and Jinki’s thing. They all have their own special things with each other. He doesn’t want to share his Jonghyun thing with the others, but he doesn’t want to tell them that and have them feel bad about it. Changing the place is a good way around it. “Like, McDonald’s or something?” he presses.

“Yeah, like McDonald’s is _real_ food,” Kibum scoffs. There’s a few silent seconds after this before Jinki bursts into giggles. It’s so sudden that it makes Taemin laugh too, and then Kibum is getting all huffy and Jonghyun and Minho are rolling their eyes.

“Come on,” Minho says, standing up and holding out both hands, one for Jonghyun and one for Taemin. Taemin continues to giggle as he lets Minho pull him up. Jinki and Kibum don’t even wait to see if he and the other two are coming as they walk out of the door. They’re forgotten in Kibum’s grumbling about health food and chemicals and Jinki’s soft, amused chuckles. Minho presses a kiss to Taemin’s left cheek, Jonghyun presses one to Taemin’s right, and Taemin feels both blushing hotly with all of the sudden positive emotions he’s getting after that downer of a talk. Well, now, this is just bullshit. He wiggles his hands away from both boyfriends and scuttles after his other two, joining in their playful bickering rather than letting himself become even more flustered.

Jonghyun and Minho join them in Jinki’s car soon enough, Jonghyun kicking Kibum out of shotgun like usual and Minho letting Kibum lean all over him in the corner. Taemin leans against his own window with his chin propped up in his hand, a tiny smile gracing his lips. He knows that he’ll probably have to talk to each of them individually about this, but he’s glad that for now, as a group, they’re back in harmony.


End file.
